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[Обугленный смех]

The System of Social Welfare.
I want to tell you about the social system of welfare in Russia.
The system of Social Welfare in Russia have own advantages and defects. Although in many ways it is a wonderful system, in many other ways it is a catastrophe.
Disadvantages of Social welfare system causes many discussions among the different classes of the society.
For example people have to wait to be operated on for many years because of the financial problems in the National Health Service. Medical aid is public and free-of-charge, but at the same time there is shortage of money and equipment. It makes many people choose a private care. System of benefits is also imperfect. Many people who are really in need - don’t receive any benefits and people who are able to work, who are healthy and strong - use the state’s money.
There are some categories people who are entitled to receive different benefits. It is the unemployed, the sick, the retired, the disabled, the widowed. These benefits are made by contributions which are paid by working people.
I think that welfare state should help only those who cannot help themselves because if people know that in a Welfare state they will be provided with financial help, they dont try hard to get a job.
Many foreign elderly people think that age is not the reason for depression. But in Russia the situation is another. While some retired people have enough money to spend their time travelling, elderly people in Russia sometimes don't even have money for the basic things, such as food and medicine.
For example The average lifespan of Russian men is 58 years, women - 72 years, while in Great Britain men live 76, and women 81 years
As for me, I don’t think that the system of social welfare is ineffective because in many difficult situations only a state can help people.
I think that the system of social welfare can work even better than now, but its needs modification.

Скорее всего ошибок много, но у меня уже просто глаз замылен =_=
Помогите кто чем может

Comments

[lasuen]

Давайте я посмотрю)

have its own advantages and defects disadvantages (дефект как-то не очень звучит)
in many ways - aspects лучше в данном случае; плюс для всей фразы наверно лучше было бы "in some aspects... , yet in others..."
causes many discussions - cause (т.к. disadvantages - plural) \ start \ stir a lot of polemics (я бы сказала)
among the different classes - без артикля
have to wait to be operated on - звучит странно, т.к. наша "операция" это именно surgery на английском.
System of benefits - артикль должен быть перед system скорее всего;
There are some categories of people
the disabled, and the widowed
These benefits are made by contributions - taxes скорее всего, нет? как более широкое понятие. + consist of
that welfare state - артикль нужен: a welfare state
foreign elderly people - звучит немного забавно, лучше бы переформулировать(= Elderly people in other countries...
not the reason - not a reason (потому что одна из многих)
the situation is another - the situation differs (я бы предложила)
for the basic things - без артикля; needs вместо things наверно было бы лучше
don’t think + ineffective путает немного, я бы предложила построить фразу без double negative.

Это основное(=

+ are entitled to receive different benefits (лучше без receive), among which are the...
+ can work - can function
it needs to be modified
because in many difficult situations - there are often circumstances in which...

[Обугленный смех]

LaSuen, спасибо))
О боги, сколько ошибок. позор)
а почему System of benefits без артикля? мы кажется так записывали..
многие формулировки странные потому что я пыталась все попроще сделать - мне этот кошмар наизусть учить надо

[jullotus]

я быстро одним глазом пробежала грамму, потому как прям вот сейчас времени совсем нет(((
кое что бы подправить еще толком содержание..


I want to tell you about the social system of welfare in Russia.
The system of Social Welfare in Russia haS own advantages and defects. Although in many ways it is a wonderful system, in many other ways it is a catastrophe.
Disadvantages of Social welfare system causes many discussions among the different classes of the society.
For example people have to wait to be operated on for many years because of the financial problems in the National Health Service. Medical aid is public and free-of-charge, but at the same time there is shortage of money and equipment. It makes many people choose a private care. System of benefits is also imperfect. Many people who are really in need - don’t receive any benefits and people who are able to work, who are healthy and strong - use the state’s money.
There are some categories of people who are entitled to receive different benefits. They are the unemployed, the sick, the retired, the disabled, the widowed. These benefits are made by contributions which are paid by working people.
I think that welfare state should help only those who cannot help themselves because if people know that in a Welfare state they will be provided with financial help, they dont try hard to get a job.
Many foreign elderly people think that age is not the reason for depression. But in Russia the situation is another. While some retired people have enough money to spend their time travelling, elderly people in Russia sometimes don't even have money for the basic things, such as food and medicine.
For example The average life expectancy of Russian men is 58 years, women - 72 years, while in Great Britain men live 76, and women 81 years
As for me, I don’t think that the system of social welfare is ineffective because in many difficult situations only a state can help people.
I think that the system of social welfare can work even better than now, but its needs modification.

[lasuen]

Солёное солнцЕ, не за что)
О боги, сколько ошибок. позор) - там многое просто пожелания=)

а почему System of benefits без артикля? мы кажется так записывали..
Наоборот с артиклем. А вообще обозвите её лучше: the benefits system =)

The system of Social Welfare - идеально, конечно, вообще the social welfare system (и кстати да, обращайте внимание на окончания have\has и т.д.=)
Вообще любую system чего-либо с предлогов of после можно преобразовать в антецедентное словосочетание, то есть тупо в начало поставить.

average lifespan и average life expectancy - одна и та же вещь

As for me, I don’t think - Personally I think... \ In my opinion... (во фразе as for me чувствуется некое непосредственное отношение к вашей жизни; ну и наверно разговорно как-то звучит)

use the state’s money - в усной речи будет звучать как казна США