Здравствуйте!
Под катом небольшой текстовый отрывок по-английски, что-то типа белого стиха(ъ). Верней, это предполагаемый текст для песни. Если не трудно, посмотрите, пожалуйста, в нем ошибки. В первую очередь стилистические, но могут быть и грамматические.
читать дальшеOne day I have opened my eyes.
And I have seen.
I have seen it all. All the extravagance of entire human world.
Grief and pain, which contains in each of them.
Triteness and fragility of their thoughts.
Their breathing is automatic. Go after the flesh. The self-preservation desire.
For them all is determined already. They surely know their place in all instants.
I saw a diamond dawn, but this is just an optical illusion, announced next day for them.
They already do not trust in a miracle surrounding them.
And it is better to accept death than to become one of them.
I wander (в оригинале было "я блуждал в размышлениях"... не знаю, насколько смысл передан) - why this thusness? Outrage of justice, the failure of a pride, honour is in lack.
But I am not alone in my appetency to break their principium.
And in oblivion of night,
in endless world of someone's thoughts,
in depths of another's glare
I tried to close eyes, but I can't.